My friend found out that I had been depressed. Here follows our exchange. I got quite angered by the end of it.
(9:56:12 PM) E J: yo
(9:56:14 PM) burningeternity2000: busy til 10
(9:56:25 PM) E J: with what?
(9:58:47 PM) E J: isnt it 10 there now?
(10:40:09 PM) E J: what time is it there now?
(10:43:50 PM) burningeternity2000: past 10 but i was talking with a friend
(10:45:05 PM) E J: so i really didnt know you were having depression issues
(10:45:30 PM) burningeternity2000: yeah
(10:45:36 PM) burningeternity2000: I’ve been for around 2 years or so
(10:45:39 PM) burningeternity2000: so yeah.
(10:46:00 PM) burningeternity2000: Taking meds, going to therapy, trying to not go nuts because I am living with my mum right now
(10:46:15 PM) E J: why dont you get a place in nachville?
(10:47:42 PM) E J: or why havent you
(10:51:39 PM) E J: are you still chatting with your other friend?
(10:52:31 PM) burningeternity2000: yes. Also, too poor
(10:52:44 PM) E J: isnt rent out there fairly cheap?
(10:52:54 PM) burningeternity2000: umm
(10:53:07 PM) burningeternity2000: I have about $100 to my name and no job til school starts
(10:53:15 PM) E J: thats not good
(10:54:12 PM) E J: so i thought you said that you had found happiness in your religion
(10:54:20 PM) burningeternity2000: I do.
(10:55:36 PM) E J: then why are you depressed?
(10:55:59 PM) burningeternity2000: environmental things.
(10:56:03 PM) burningeternity2000: school
(10:56:29 PM) E J: so then when are you happy?
(10:56:58 PM) burningeternity2000: when I am thinking of my spirituality, or when I am with AJ
(10:57:19 PM) E J: and it does not carry over to non-free time?
(10:58:01 PM) burningeternity2000: some
(10:58:14 PM) E J: well tell me about it
(10:58:52 PM) burningeternity2000: depressions isn’t just a ‘feeling’ perse
(10:59:30 PM) E J: ok and?
(11:00:41 PM) E J: tell me what it is then?
(11:02:05 PM) burningeternity2000: it can start off sad or angry or anxious
(11:02:14 PM) burningeternity2000: then it becomes a crushing sadness
(11:02:26 PM) burningeternity2000: that just feels like it will kill you
(11:02:57 PM) E J: arent those all feelings?
(11:03:12 PM) burningeternity2000: its not just one you can turn on or off though
(11:03:12 PM) E J: and what do you think is causing your depression?
(11:08:43 PM) burningeternity2000: partially environment
(11:08:49 PM) burningeternity2000: partially anxiety
(11:09:04 PM) burningeternity2000: not sure what else
(11:09:21 PM) E J: and what do you think can fix it?
(11:09:42 PM) burningeternity2000: therapy, possible medication, and taking better care of myself
(11:09:58 PM) E J: have those things been helping?
(11:10:15 PM) burningeternity2000: well, the first two, somewhat. Haven’t really done the 3rd.
(11:10:33 PM) E J: to what extent is somewhat?
(11:10:56 PM) burningeternity2000: as in I have to get out of my house and take better care of myself before I’ll really know.
(11:11:03 PM) burningeternity2000: I am not suicidal anymore
(11:11:09 PM) burningeternity2000: which is good
(11:11:12 PM) E J: well thats good
(11:11:21 PM) E J: suicide isnt a healthy hobby
(11:12:54 PM) E J: so whats changed from high school? cause you werent epressed then as far as i know
(11:14:07 PM) burningeternity2000: I had a lot of pent up emotion
(11:14:27 PM) burningeternity2000: you know, father being murdered, verbally abusive mother, stuff like that
(11:14:49 PM) E J: do you think you have life worse off than the average person
(11:14:50 PM) E J: “
(11:14:51 PM) E J: ?
(11:15:14 PM) burningeternity2000: probably not
(11:15:19 PM) burningeternity2000: but that doesn’t change how I feel
(11:16:01 PM) burningeternity2000: knowing doesn’t always influence emotion
(11:16:50 PM) E J: do you think you are different?
(11:16:58 PM) E J: well, thats a very broad Q
(11:17:03 PM) E J: do you think. . . .
(11:17:19 PM) burningeternity2000: that I am different from what?
(11:17:32 PM) E J: you problem is uncommon
(11:17:52 PM) burningeternity2000: depression affects many people all over the world
(11:18:11 PM) burningeternity2000: and is often dismissed as not being serious or that the person is just lazy or overreacting
(11:18:28 PM) E J: do you think it is unnatural?
(11:19:37 PM) burningeternity2000: well, the amount of chemicals we are exposed to certainly don’t help
(11:19:41 PM) burningeternity2000: not sure really
(11:20:09 PM) E J: i think i was depressed once
(11:20:25 PM) E J: i certainly had reason
(11:20:26 PM) E J: i think
(11:20:29 PM) E J: im better now
(11:20:42 PM) burningeternity2000: and how did you get better?
(11:20:53 PM) E J: i dont think you’ll like the answer
(11:21:03 PM) burningeternity2000: yep, knew it
(11:21:11 PM) E J: i was healed by Jesus Christ
(11:21:20 PM) burningeternity2000: yeah.
(11:21:57 PM) burningeternity2000: hang on, I want to find you an article…
(11:22:35 PM) E J: im serious about the being depressed part
(11:23:31 PM) burningeternity2000: http://www.wicca.com/celtic/wicca/christian.htm
(11:27:23 PM) E J: and?
(11:27:46 PM) burningeternity2000: my god is the same as yours. I just see them manifested in a different light
(11:27:50 PM) burningeternity2000: so get off my back
(11:27:56 PM) burningeternity2000: or you will piss me off
(11:28:01 PM) E J: hhaha this is almost a bit amusing
(11:28:50 PM) E J: this person has grossly mis-interpreted scripture, and i can tell you why. and i will, but not tonight, because as much as i would love to, i have a 12 hour day of work tomorrow
(11:28:52 PM) E J: but no
(11:28:56 PM) E J: it is not the same God
(11:29:46 PM) E J: i can understand you wanting to believe your own theology, but dont call it the same as my God. that is an insult to me, and Christianity
(11:29:51 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, why should I trust your interpretation over other peoples?
(11:30:14 PM) E J: because its not what I say or they say, its what the Bible says
(11:30:22 PM) burningeternity2000: And for you to say that means that you are truly belittling my belief
(11:30:57 PM) E J: if your belief is calling your god my God except without all of the accountability that my God requires, then i find that very offensive
(11:31:19 PM) E J: because anyone who has seriously read the bible knows that this is not true
(11:31:45 PM) E J: just because one “christian” reads a few verses wrong doesnt call it kosher
(11:31:56 PM) E J: the bible is very clear
(11:32:08 PM) burningeternity2000: is a catholic christain?
(11:32:12 PM) burningeternity2000: is a baptist?
(11:32:31 PM) burningeternity2000: becaues they both interpret things very differently
(11:32:32 PM) E J: well that very much believes what that catholic or baptist believes
(11:33:36 PM) E J: if that catholic or baptists asks Jesus to enter their heart, turns away from sin, and trusts God with all their heart, then yes. if they go to church and sing and pray and give to charity and look religious but dont humble themselves before Jesus, then no they are not
(11:33:59 PM) E J: they are “almost christians”,”half-way christians”, “lukewarm christians”
(11:34:37 PM) E J: or even from my studies, those who believe doctrine not biblically based (such as pro gay, pro evolution) are worshippers of what is known in the bible as a false christ
(11:34:54 PM) E J: does that answer your Q?
(11:36:55 PM) burningeternity2000: so anyone who believes anything contrary to a literal interpretation of the bible is a false christain?
(11:37:57 PM) E J: according to some theories. yes
(11:38:14 PM) E J: the bible says that you are responsible for whatever knowledge of the gospel you have heard
(11:38:33 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, even if I was Christian, I would still believe in evolution
(11:38:39 PM) E J: so if you hear genesis, leviticus, revelation, and rebuke it, you are held accountable
(11:38:51 PM) E J: well that would be a big proble
(11:39:00 PM) burningeternity2000: I would still be prochoice, progay rights also
(11:39:06 PM) E J: if you were a christian, would you worship a Jesus that was a known liar?
(11:39:29 PM) burningeternity2000: If I didn’t interpret the bible literally, then he wouldn’t be
(11:39:53 PM) E J: you would have to interpret it so figureatively in that what Jesus said in the bible, he didnt really say
(11:39:59 PM) burningeternity2000: allegory is often more powerful than history. Myth leaves greater impact than fact
(11:40:19 PM) E J: except a christian that believes the bible is myth isnt really a christian
(11:40:46 PM) E J: because Jesus said in John, that if you dont believe what moses wrote (genesis), how can you believe what i say (salvation)
(11:41:04 PM) burningeternity2000: so you can take your holier than thou attitude which even condemns other christians and you can shove it. If you want to remain my friend, I suggest you drop your attempts to convert me.
(11:41:13 PM) E J: and dont you know it takes more faith to believe that evolution could have happened that it does to believe the bible happened?
(11:41:38 PM) E J: excuse me, when have i ever been “hollier than thou”?
(11:41:53 PM) burningeternity2000: and do you realize that the bible has been translated numerous times and that in that translation meaning is sometimes lost?
(11:42:21 PM) burningeternity2000: And you are being that, because you condemn everyone who does not follow your branch of christian faith
(11:42:23 PM) E J: of course i know that, but you cant translate the literal meaning of the bible into a figurative one
(11:42:32 PM) E J: i dont condemn anyone
(11:42:35 PM) E J: thats not my job
(11:42:41 PM) E J: i want to share what i know
(11:42:54 PM) burningeternity2000: you said that christians who believe in evolution are false
(11:43:01 PM) E J: and any chrisitan that doesnt do that, has not read his/her bible
(11:43:06 PM) E J: they can be
(11:43:15 PM) E J: evolution is completely contradictory to the bible
(11:43:18 PM) burningeternity2000: considering there are a fair amount of those, you just insulted a lot of people
(11:43:31 PM) E J: well i hope i have the chance to talk to every one of them in person
(11:43:40 PM) E J: not to insult them, but to show them where they are wrong
(11:43:54 PM) burningeternity2000: and tell them that they are wrong and you are right and that they will go to hell if they don’t believe the way you do?
(11:43:54 PM) E J: the bible talks about those people, and talks about the people who decieve them
(11:43:56 PM) E J: its all in there
(11:44:01 PM) burningeternity2000: even though you both accepted christ?
(11:44:15 PM) E J: no, they are wrong and the Bible (which is the foundation of christianity) is right
(11:44:47 PM) burningeternity2000: oh, so are the scientists who endorse evolution just a bunch of satanists in conspiracy against good christains?
(11:44:48 PM) E J: but the difference is they are accepting a christ who lied, who didnt create the world like he said he did, and doesnt have all the power in the universe
(11:45:17 PM) E J: not all, most are raised in it, but some strife for nothing less than the destruction of chrisianity
(11:45:57 PM) E J: most are fooled because they are taught it is a fact, and creationists are stupid. thats exactly how its presented
(11:46:08 PM) E J: how is someone not rooted in Jesus and the bible supposed to argue with that
(11:46:27 PM) E J: they use appeal to ethos and pathos, and even make strong attempts at logos
(11:46:30 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, I am not a creationist, regardless of my religious idology
(11:46:37 PM) burningeternity2000: *ideology
(11:46:41 PM) E J: i know this
(11:47:04 PM) E J: you have been raised so that would not happen
(11:48:16 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, this conversation needs to stop. I do not wish to talk about religion any more with you
(11:48:25 PM) E J: why is this?
(11:48:34 PM) burningeternity2000: because its pissing me off.
(11:48:38 PM) E J: why?
(11:49:13 PM) burningeternity2000: because your view is so narrowminded it makes me sick
(11:49:24 PM) burningeternity2000: you insult other christains for crying out lout
(11:49:26 PM) E J: hahaha, how is it narrowminded!?
(11:49:27 PM) burningeternity2000: *loud
(11:49:37 PM) E J: ok lets define something
(11:49:47 PM) E J: Foundation of Christianity: The Bible
(11:49:50 PM) E J: are we in agreement?
(11:49:58 PM) burningeternity2000: So only a fundamentalist who believes in creation science is christain?
(11:49:59 PM) burningeternity2000: and no
(11:50:07 PM) burningeternity2000: the foundation was the teachings of christ
(11:50:15 PM) E J: which is found . . . . . ?
(11:50:28 PM) burningeternity2000: originally it was an oral mystery tradition.
(11:50:29 PM) E J: in The Bible!!
(11:50:54 PM) burningeternity2000: then recorded 200 years later
(11:51:00 PM) burningeternity2000: after the death of christ
(11:51:04 PM) burningeternity2000: by MAN
(11:51:04 PM) E J: the man who lived two thousand years ago and had gospels written about him was oral mystery tradition?
(11:51:21 PM) burningeternity2000: gospels were written 200 years after
(11:51:27 PM) burningeternity2000: historically proven
(11:51:30 PM) E J: even though the last book of the new testamnet was written by John in 95AD?
(11:52:37 PM) burningeternity2000: its been proven that most accounts of christ were written well after his death, the latest around 200 years after
(11:52:57 PM) burningeternity2000: AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, and if you respect me as a friend you will stop
(11:54:17 PM) E J: ok, i agree, this converstation needs to end tonight. but i want to continue in the future because i think a huge part of this is a misunderstand of what christianity is. it doesnt really have anything to do with wiccanism, but if you respect me, then i think you’ll at least give me the chance to clear up some misconceptions that you have about my religion, which is the most important thing in my life. i think maybe i’ll facebook message it so its not so back and forth and intense
(11:54:48 PM) E J: the future convo wont have anything to do with wiccanism that is
(11:54:51 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, you have no interest in my religion
(11:55:02 PM) E J: then why did i even ask the other night?
(11:55:12 PM) burningeternity2000: because you wanted to convert me if I was not
(11:55:29 PM) E J: well doesnt that make me sound kinda generic
(11:55:41 PM) burningeternity2000: and all your arguments are
(11:55:55 PM) burningeternity2000: If I want to fully understand Christianity, I’ll read the bibl
(11:55:59 PM) burningeternity2000: *bible
(11:56:14 PM) burningeternity2000: My religion is very important to me
(11:56:22 PM) burningeternity2000: but I dont force it upon you
(11:56:33 PM) E J: well im not aiming to give you a full understanding, only to clear up some misconceptions that you might have about it
(11:56:52 PM) E J: and thats fine and dandy if your religion doesnt call you to do that. but mine calls me to spread the word
(11:57:00 PM) E J: so i would be bad at it if i didnt
(11:57:10 PM) burningeternity2000: and it calls for you to try and convert me?
(11:57:20 PM) E J: not in those words
(11:57:25 PM) E J: to preach and rebuke
(11:57:30 PM) burningeternity2000: Eli, I go to church with my mother
(11:57:35 PM) burningeternity2000: every now and then
(11:57:39 PM) burningeternity2000: I’ll hear the word there
(11:58:11 PM) burningeternity2000: I am not deaf to your religion, nor am I deaf to the hypocrisies of most of its worshippers
(11:59:03 PM) burningeternity2000: Now, I respectfully ask that you leave the topic of religion alone with me. I wouldn’t want to tell you about mine even if you wanted to know, because you wouldn’t want to and would just want to convert me
(8/12/2010 12:00:12 AM) E J: i have to go to bed now. but not that i think about it, im quite offended. you insulted me above quiet a few times. and why. because i think your understanding of my religion is quite different than what it is. this offends me, so dont pretend your the attacked one here
(12:00:21 AM) burningeternity2000: your interest stemms from a misguided attempt to ‘save’ my soul. I don’t need you to save me or to spread the word. I look to a church if I need gospel. I’ll look to the bible. I don’t want to look to a friend to do that
(12:00:49 AM) burningeternity2000: And you attacked me by persistently claiming your superiority
(12:01:03 AM) burningeternity2000: I never said my theology was the right one. I never said it was the only one
(12:01:09 AM) E J: you are mistaken. i never said anything about my superiority
(12:01:28 AM) burningeternity2000: you did about the superiority of your religious beliefs
(12:01:29 AM) E J: all i ever said was what the bible says
(12:01:56 AM) E J: i’ve only said what the bible says
(12:02:19 AM) E J: i cant really say the bible says it superior, because that would give the message that they can be compared
(12:02:27 AM) E J: anyways, i’ll message you. bed time
(12:02:29 AM) E J: goodnight