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Inner Sanctum

~ The Inner Mind of a Wild Young Witch

Inner Sanctum

Category Archives: Nature

Building My Personal Traditions: Food & Prayer

16 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Nymphaea in Animism, Divinity, Food, Mindfulness, Nature, Personal Growth, polytheism, Practical Spirituality

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animism, food, gods, polytheism, prayer, web

The building of personal tradition is one that every person does, regardless of religious or spiritual affiliations. We necessarily create rituals throughout our days and lives, and the body of these form our own personal traditions. While religious traditions as a whole give prescriptions and guidelines for rituals, from large to mundane, it is the decision of the practitioner to incorporate said rituals into their daily lives. As most of us who belong to smaller, marginalized and less established (or less recorded, as in fewer historical records left) spiritual and religious traditions can attest, incorporating rituals into daily life can be a challenge. Well, at least it is for me, and from this point forward, I’ll be speaking from personal experience.

I hear the phrase “every act in your life is spiritual/magical/for the gods/etc” fairly frequently. This concept is both simple and complex, because it’s easy to think this on paper. Yet, when you try to take the concept and apply it to your own life, particularly when you have a fairly complex and frequently evolving religious viewpoint, it’s actually really damn difficult. Thinking something is sacred is a far cry different than actually taking the time out of your day to acknowledge sacredness.

I’m in a stage in my life where I’m trying to consolidate a lot of things mentally, including my feelings and identification with polytheism, paganism, animism, witchcraft and my own spiritual notions, set against the backdrop of college, working, apartment life with a nonpagan roommate, pagan friends, nonpagan boyfriend and parents who won’t find out I’m pagan until I’m graduated from college and doing well enough in life that they can’t blame my spiritual beliefs for bad things in my life like they have done video games and other hobbies (I’m not bitter, not one bit). Being at this chaotic and critical time, I’ve decided to establish some stability and really think hard about how I want to incorporate my spiritual life into my every day life, because really, they aren’t separate things.

Part of this examination involves looking at the taken for granted statement that everything in your life is sacred, and seeing how it would actually apply. Now, I know a lot of people can argue that, in fact, nothing besides ritual actions are considered sacred (in at least what we as humans do) and I get that. I understand miasma and I know it’s a thing, but I’m at a point where, to understand the bad, I have to understand the not bad first. So, the way I’m applying sacred here is almost a separate notion of the word, where I consider that sacredness is that which involves the gods/spirits/us/etc interacting in a not offensive manner to said gods/spirits/etc, but not necessarily something that is done in a sacred space or in a sanctified manner (again, this is personal exploration, and if you have a problem with my exploration of variations of definitions, well, I don’t particularly care).

The first area of this that I want to look at is food, particularly prayer at mealtime. This may seem like a very silly place to start, but I think it’s a good one. We are surrounded by people praying at meals (well, at least when the family gets together for the holiday, and your mother asks you to pray every time and you are pretty sure she does it because she suspects you aren’t Christian, and you awkwardly shuffle the prayer to some other person hopefully younger or less around the family than you) regardless of specific religious traditions. What better way to cultivate mindfulness about where our food comes from than before we eat it, right?

So, when I first think of praying before a meal, where does my mind go? It wanders to thinking something along the lines of “since I’m a polytheist, what gods should I thank for this meal?”  While this isn’t an awful sentiment by any means, I think it shows a fair about of holdover from a monotheist/Christian upbringing.  I’m an animist, and so I should acknowledge the spirits that were/are in the food I’m about to consume.  I should think of the processes it takes to get such foods, whether it be from a farm or from a processing plant or from my own garden.  I should think about the hands said food crossed after it was harvested, and the respective energies of those who handled the food.  Of course, the gods should also be thanked as well.  Yet, it’s taken me a bit to get the idea through my fairly thick skull that, while the gods are, well, the gods, the food I eat comes from  much more than just their blessings upon the fields.  While oftentimes pagans and others who are environmentally conscious focus on the bad parts of the food production, many of us, particularly when we are first starting out, forget to do the whole ‘thankful’ bit.  As in, I’m quite thankful we have the technology to harvest, transport, roast and brew my coffee, regardless of whether or not it was fair trade.  In fact, the origin of said coffee doesn’t change the fact that it still passed through those hands, it still has the spirits in it, it still went through the manufacturing process, it was still shipped to my kroger, I still bought it, I still roasted it in my japanese coffee maker, and I still poured a ton of coffeemate creamer into it.  And it doesn’t change the fact that the gods definitely influenced all of it either.  I just am now realizing that there’s more to it than that.

Every little action we do, everything we consume, everything we use and interact with, whether it be living, dead or inorganic material, is the way it is by a massive web of interactions that radiates throughout the world.  Which means, of course, we are the way we are, I am the way I am, in the same manner.  And that’s pretty damn amazing, when you think about it.

Shifting Dreams- Spider

11 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by Nymphaea in Animal, Dreams, Musings, Nature

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dreams, shifting dreams, spider

I usually don’t remember my dreams. Of course, everyone has exceptions to that, and I’m no exception to the rules of exceptions, but in general remembering is a rarity for me.

When I was younger, I never had dreams of flying. In fact, I still don’t. What I always would remember dreaming about (unless it was something directly related to current media I was watching or just simple narrative in dream time of everyday life) would be shape shifting. Now, I would like to think of it being some super awesome indication of me always wanting to be a hedgerider of sorts, but I also read a butt-ton of animorphs as a kid (oh gods that series was a highlight of my childhood experience). Still, many of my dreams would end with me only being shifted halfway, while some would fully complete. Some would be less than pleasant (I remember becoming a centaur, and right as I shifted I was speared through the chest with a javelin as I was trying to escape with someone thrown over my shoulder; a second violent one involved me turning into a wolf and then eating a lot of people-go figure) while sometimes I’d just turn into a duck. Quack.

Anyway, I had my first shifting dream the other day in several months. Funnily enough, it was associated with spiders. I have no memory of the context of the dream. I didn’t shift all the way, although I wasn’t sure if I was trying to, but I remember my arm shifting into a sort of anthropomorphic spider arm. I think I actually ended up with both main arms and an extra set before I woke up. Granted, I play league so there is Elise there, and I am friends with a lot of furries (that’s an interesting story in itself), but I think there was something more to this one. At least, I know the Spider is something significant, at least for the coming time. I’ll have to keep an eye/ear/mind out for Spider, to see if there is something to be learned. I already know that Snake is calling to me.

Moral of the story- don’t let other life shit bog you down, because before you know it you have multiple deities and spirits demanding you to research and give offerings and devotionals to them. It’s a good problem to have, but stressful still.

Recent Adventures

15 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by Nymphaea in Altar, Animism, Beasts, Birds, Nature, Nature Spirits, Paganism, Presences, Trees, Witchcraft & Spiritwork

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Altar, beasts, crafting, deer, Incense, ritual, turkey, woodwork

(warning, lots of photos)

The past month or so has been fun of random bits of awesomeness, from the tracking of deer in one city to the finding of bones in another, to incense making and ritual preparation.

A while back, during my spring break, I headed out with my stepdad to explore the woods behind my mother’s home, a small house in the middle of the city that happens to border a wooded area. There, they get herds of 7-13 deer, some of which my mother can identify quite well. Since the area had seen so much deer traffic, the signs were everywhere.

Signs of bucks in the woods

Signs of bucks in the woods

Hoofprints in the mud

Hoofprints in the mud

The air was rich with a dash of wild magic, as I slowly learn to try and see the world with new eyes. Perhaps the tunnels of thorns are faery glens and to walk under archways of old spiny growth would be to walk into another land, never to return. Mushrooms form ladders and scale the trees, and the signs of life are everywhere.

A gateway

A gateway

Fungi ladder to the sky

Fungi ladder to the sky

Also, there was a LOT of deer poop. Just sayin.

I’ve been experimenting in different kinds of crafting, from clay (which I’ve used before) as well as beginning to wood burn.

A sculpy rose before baking.

A sculpy rose before baking.

Belladonna and death for my alraun, first experiment into woodburning.

Belladonna and death for my alraun, first experiment into woodburning.

A partially done box for my magpie smudge wing, 2nd attempt at woodburning

A partially done box for my magpie smudge wing, 2nd attempt at woodburning

Amarth and I got together on a Friday night and began crafting some incense, first a batch of for the dark moon and then one for the full moon, while burning some lovely bee propolis resin from Sarah Lawless. We drank tea and nibbled apple butter toast after, while watching the awesome movie with SJ and Bekah Kelso, Ember Days. We set up a small altar on the table and called the presences as well as calling my house spirits, who I figured would like to get in on some of the goodness.

Our altar for crafting and offerings

Our altar for crafting and offerings

Me grinding away. Excuse the tank top, I was in comfy clothes!

Me grinding away. Excuse the tank top, I was in comfy clothes!

Amarth huffing and puffing away!

Amarth huffing and puffing away!

Our finished products are drying and curing right now, perhaps we’ll test the full moon one soon!

First time making incense pellets. Hopefully they smell good. Used honey to bind them.

First time making incense pellets. Hopefully they smell good. Used honey to bind them.

The next day, Amarth and I, along with his boyfriend, headed out to the local lake. We ambled along the shoreline and found all kinds of goodies and dozens of holey stones, one of which I took home with me for my first! We also found some old red bricks we will scrape and turn into brick dust.

After, we journeyed into the woods. We had intended on harvesting some poplar buds (we were going to try to use eastern cottonwood instead of balsam, as we don’t have those pretties in the south) for balm of gilead, but we realized we couldn’t identify one in the midst of hundreds while just relying on bark alone. We’ll have to wait until next year after we identify more trees in the area. We romped around for a while and found a giant cedar. After some fun climbing, we found a small vertebrae at the bottom. We buried it, and when we returned a week later found flowers growing over it.

Later during the first visit, we found the most amazing thing- 2 deer skeletons! They were not intact, but we found a large portion of bones (no skulls, but jawbones), as well as some remains from a turkey. We gathered part and created a small shrine area of the rest, as we didn’t have room to take care of all the bones (we each live in apartments). We left hairs for an offering then and came back the next weekend, leaving corn and other foodstuffs as well as spending time cleaning up the woods around the bones. We are fairly sure coyotes were responsible. While I have no pictures of the bones (I will post after cleaning and whitening), I do have some of us being silly!

Climbing a deadwood tree overlooking the low shoreline of winter lake water

Climbing a deadwood tree overlooking the low shoreline of winter lake water

The shoreline and lakeside

The shoreline and lakeside

Amarth and Nym in a tree. I'm not a natural climber, so my feet look really awkward

Amarth and Nym in a tree. I’m not a natural climber, so my feet look really awkward

Full Moon Workings

28 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by Nymphaea in Altar, Ancestors, Animal, Beasts, Birds, Divinity, Hekate, Herbs, Horned God, Nature, Plant, Presences, Reptiles, Shrine, Witchcraft & Spiritwork

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Tonight I finally decided to get off my ass and do some work. Granted, not the school work I should be desperately diving into, but spiritual work, which I feel is as much needed right now as the other. I had recently found a groundhog skull and had received in the mail a red fox skull and a coyote skull. That, combined with the cat skull, magpie wing, and random other things I own, made me realize I really needed to do a good blessing tonight.

I first set everything up over the night and gathered what I thought I’d need. I have a few altar/shrines set up in my room. My large altar is definitely an altar, a working space and an area meant to call the Presences and where my ritual tools sit. Granted, while not a tiny area, I do have quite a bit on there, so I also will use the floor around it or a little tv stand next to it (the big altar is in the tv area of an entertainment system that I used to store all my witchy goodies). I have an altar/shrine to Hekate, in the sense that it works as both a permanent home to honor her as well as part of it being a work space, and then I have a shrine to honor my ancestors (I also can honor them at my large altar, and so I consider that an area where I’d work with the ancestors more actively, where the shrine is definitely a place for honoring instead of working).

I put on a spiritual play mix on my computer (which sits in the same room) and lit up all the candles and some incense and fumigated the area with it’s delicious muskiness. I called the Presences and lit Hekate’s area. I made holy water and washed all the skulls in it, washed my charms and fetishes and sprinkled my feathers with the water. I wrapped the skulls up and set them up on my altar while I continued, rubbing anointing oil and oil for the dead along with various other oils for poisonous magical allies when necessary. My new blade and my wand were anointed, as were my deity statues and all of the wonderful dead things. I did my best to empower and connect with each item, although I am still working on this process. As I made the bones home for allies, I made sure to specify that they would be the spirits of those animals who were friendly (at least, I tried to make sure I communicated that). This night was all about cleansing and consecrating and establishing my connection to the spirits. I am quite exhausted, but I was sleepy beforehand anyway (long day). I’m rather happy that everything seemed to go well, although I did have to calm down the red fox spirit a bit, but I hope I managed. The coyote grinned at me, he’ll be a welcome handful. The cat I’ve had for years, and I’m pretty sure will always be with me. I have two more skulls on the way, 2 deer, as well as a few goodies incoming from various places, some of these I will need to cleanse and consecrate, and some I’ll just need to connect with myself.

I also experimented with my first wood burning today. I’m not very good but I definitely could be doing worse. Anyway, I’m off to bed. I’ll post altar pictures soon! Just too darn tired tonight to do much or care much after all that.

Why Thank You Mister Bird

05 Sunday Feb 2012

Posted by Nymphaea in Animal, Birds, Nature

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Tags

bird of prey, daily photo, one a day, random bird encounters

I need to identify this passerby

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