It’s strange the catalyst that finally causes us to break out of our holding pattern, and it’s often something quite unusual and almost non-relating to the situation. When my parents came for a visit, I broke down my altar to Hekate and removed a few of the super indicative pagan items off my main altar (both of which were recently set up and haven’t been properly blessed or anything yet), as my mother doesn’t know of my religious path (I think she has some idea, deep down. The books with witch sit plainly on the bottom shelf, the altar still adorned with shells and horn and chalice and candles galore, I just removed the pentacle). The visit was wonderful, but in the evening I returned to my fairly regular musings on my failure to really connect with my surroundings, my lack of will power to purify my life, etc. Then, finally, I get a fabulous and much needed idea.
Why don’t I do something about it? Not in a while, not a week from now, not even writing on the blog. Right. Damn. Now.
So I set back up a simpler altar to Hekate, without the pomp of the other one (no suedo-fantasty sculptures, no extra frills). The altar ‘cloth’ was a black bandana, the altar consisting of a black chime candle, a silver 3 legged bowl, my black thick-glassed chalice, a frog figurine and a glass bowl filled with snakeskin. I grabbed my Wildwood Tarot deck (my favorite deck by the way), turned off the computer, second monitor tv, the computer fan, and got rid of that electric hum in the background. After a failed attempt at lighting the chime candle, I recited the Orphic Hymn to Hekate and BOOM, there we go.
After an offering of mead, the Goddess and I had a heart to heart, and I confessed what a douche I’ve been, to put it simply.With the help of tarot cards and my first attempt at fire scrying, she definitely got her point across. While I won’t share everything, I know now that to connect with her, my ancestor worship must take a large part in my spiritual practice, as she and it will lead me to one another. My devotion to this path must be true, I must dedicate myself to fully walk it. Also, that to succeed in my want to purify my body and life in order to become more aware around me, I must make it a labor of love and find enjoyment in everyday life. It’s been a long while that I’ve felt so connected, and I made promises to burn my special Hekate incense purchased from Stang and Cauldron. The timing in my life for such messages is fabulous on multiple levels, as I’m just finishing up my Divination and Sacred Self classes with the tradition, and while I see my short comings at the forefront, I also see how to succeed. I slept very well last night, and while I don’t remember my dreams, I felt well rested on short hours and ready to conquer the day.
After the wonderful time at my altar, I wrote in my new journal thingy about it, then blew out the candle at her signal and poured the mead offering to her in the bowl I have outside the apartment door, set there to receive her offerings (I can’t have the kittens getting into mead >.<). Oh what a lovely night!