Most days, I feel like everything must be perfect to find my center. School going well, on track to losing weight, progressing well in trad and personal studies.
Let’s be honest, that doesn’t happen often. I’m a natural disaster who’s life tends to be more chaotic than the bouncing kittens currently bolting around and wrecking my room (they are happy I’m home after the apartment being empty overnight). I was heading home from a trip to see the parents, and I realized, as I craved some pagan music, that my center doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to have all the sticks straight in line to try and feel centered. I feel more of a mess because my life is a mess? Counter-intuitive. I’m going to take some deep breaths, and fix what I can. I’m going to tidy up my stuff, put things away, wash my face, and sit down and get these late papers done. Then, I’m going to finish reading the first part of Sextus Empiricus, maybe toss some ravioli in the pot, do some logic review and a greek translation or two, and feel good about the night. Also, this kitty’s nails are getting clipped. He keeps kneading the leather chair and poking me with his claws. I guess the little fluffbutt missed me.
Perhaps I’ll post soon about what I find helpful for centering, what calms me. Considering I’m already anxiety ridden and bouncy, plus on stimulants for my ADHD, I need to have calm in my heart to even possibly function as a relatively successful student, and make it at least reasonably in the work world. Anyway, I digress. To work!